|
|
The Five Love Languages
By Gary Chapman
Dr. Gary Chapman believes that unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: each spouse speaks a different love language. While counseling married couples over the course of five years, Chapman identified five different ways in which people communicate their love: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly and humorous tone, he explains each. Some spouses may hunger for focused attention, others need regular praise. Gifts may be very important to one spouse, while another fulfills their relationship by seeing their spouse fix a leaky faucet or iron a shirt. Some partners find physical touching makes them feel valued; they like to have their hands held, their backs rubbed, and their sexual desires fulfilled. Chapman gives real-life examples from his counseling practice for each language.
The book is peppered with questionnaires to help you learn your own and your spouse's love languages. Also contained: application questions to help you learn to apply these lessons to your own relationship.
Some readers may find the notion of choosing to stay with a spouse that they no longer like, much less love, a bit disconcerting - especially since the book only promises that the feelings of affection they seek 'may follow later', but Chapman promises that the results will be worth the effort. "Love is a choice," he says, "and either partner can start the process today."
The primary unspoken concept behind these notions is that by taking the time to learn your spouse's love language and making the effort to 'speak it', you are dedicating yourself to the betterment of your relationship and you are showing love for your spouse. Even if the precise lessons Chapman offers aren't exactly right for you and your spouse, the effort alone will solve all but the most intractable of relationship issues.
|
