Among many challenges of college life for freshmen, living with a roommate is quite an issue. As a rule, we don’t have to share our personal living space with other people. We may do it by choice. However, when we become college students, having a roommate often comes by default. And even if you are positive about it, the reality can be different from what you expect and hope for.
You may not become friends, and it is normal. However, you should learn how to get along with a roommate. There may be situations when you’ll need their help, or help them, even recommend whom to address to write essays for me or to assist in doing some lab report. Or you may just stay and feel comfortable.
We have prepared this article to help you get prepared to live with a roommate. Even if you make friends, running this kind of household together will inevitably raise a lot of questions to resolve.
Is it obligatory to live with a roommate?
It depends on the school. Some schools make it mandatory for freshmen. Moreover, they don’t even allow the new students to have a say. They just match you with a different student, and you won’t know whom and what you’ll have to face. Other schools allow you to choose a roommate yourself.
Besides, there is an option of not having a roommate at all. It is not available in all schools, though. Some schools require that you provide your grounded reasons and specific documents, such as your doctor’s note. Others would give you the room for yourself only without any objections, but it means paying for the rent in full, which can be quite expensive. On average, it may cost you additional $9-10 thousand per year.
That’s why the standard situation for most students suggests living with a roommate. And it often includes much more positive than negative.
The most evident factor is psychological, especially during the first year. You have to leave your home and move to a different city, state, or even country. For many students, being extracted from the habitual environment is deep psychological stress. But living with some person helps. Besides the evident factors of saving money and doing the household duties, you won’t feel lonely and lost. There will be someone to discuss how to write a great essay or get prepared for the next debates club.
How to get along when you have to live with a roommate on campus
The idea that roommates always become best friends has been quite popular and, perhaps, too romanticized. It would be a big mistake to expect to get that perfect partnership you might see in movies and TV series. Then the reality might become too painful. Most likely, you’ll live together for at least a year, and maybe more. So, the best is to try to develop stable and mutually respectful relationships.
What should you focus on from the very beginning?
Know your roommate
It is excellent if you are familiar with your roommate already – that person may be your best friend. In other cases, you provide your preferences to see in the future roommate, and may at least expect sharing some common values and principles. However, your roommate will be a stranger to you.
The best tip here is to try to understand whom you’ll live with. If that person comes from a similar background, it is a plus. However, is can also be exciting if you are opposites. What if your roommate is from a different country, another culture? It is a great chance for you! Now you can learn plenty of new things and widen your personal scope. Maybe you will ask them once, help me write my essay, and your roommate will tell you about things from their culture that you would not find in the library.
Communicate with each other
We heard about cases when college roommates lived together without exchanging a word. Both were introverted, focused on their studies and work, and they managed quite well. Still, such things happen extremely rarely. In most cases, you’ll have to communicate regularly, especially at the start.
Learn about each other’s preferences – you’ll have to accept them and share or tolerate them. Exchange the important information, like what to do in certain cases, and whom to call in case of emergency. Discuss such down-to-earth matters as bills, cleaning, food, household items, etc. Sometimes it is like writing an argumentative essay where you need to consider your statements and arguments to persuade the roommate to accept this or that idea.
The most essential rule here is to talk directly. It is better not to assume that your counterpart will figure all such things out and predict your needs and reactions. Explain what you expect and what you give in return. If you need some help with doing homework, you may ask for help and be grateful. If you’re too overloaded at work, you might need to buy a term paper and ask for recommendations about performers. The roommate might not write essays for you, of course, but they will be able to assist differently.
Determine your limits
People have different personal boundaries, but every person has them. A lion’s share of conflicts in living together comes from breaking those limitations. When it happens for a reason, it is a problem requiring a deeper investigation and complex solution. But in general, it takes place because of the lack of information.
There are different habits about common and personal spaces, cleaning, and sharing things. You might warn it honestly, I can’t write my essay because you borrowed my book and did not return it. Specify it on start and learn about how your roommate treats these things. Discuss how to treat socializing and inviting other people. You might be more social and happily participate, or you’d prefer missing the party and going to the library instead.
Living together is the art of striking a balance, but most people tend to be reasonable. If you work together, you can make your living appropriate even if you won’t be friends.
Define responsibilities
Living together covers dozens of small things, but you have to care for them. Consider them together and divide who will be responsible for what. And when it is appropriate for one to accept the duties. If you fall ill and are unable to do the weekly vacuuming, that is not a ground for leaving the room messy. It is just one detail to discuss, and the more things you clarify at once, the easier it will be to keep your household.
Having everything organized is decent support at the beginning. Further, you may need to adjust your agreements, change some responsibilities. But this system tends to be self-supported, once set properly, it will go on.
Resolve conflicts early
Conflicts are wild plants. If you miss them and won’t get rid of them when they are small, they will grow huge and fat. Small issues caused by misunderstandings may become complicated to resolve with time. It is always better to address such issues at once and try to clarify them calmly. It is not a panacea, unfortunately, as the roots of conflict might be kept deep. Still, chances are high that you’ll fix the problems then.
Also, be aware that once fixed, issues may return, and you will still have to treat them. Moreover, initial methods of resolving conflicts might not work as well. Things change with time, and new challenges may appear. The best approach is to work on these problems and understand the real reasons behind the conflicts. In any case, don’t delude yourself – it is not possible to pass the road without any problems and misunderstandings. You can only work on resolving them.
Use headphones
This is a simple, practical recommendation, but many students forget about it often. Even if you both share taste in music and shows, you may need to wall off those sounds. Using headphones is the most efficient, should you wish to watch a movie or focus on studies. You ensure inner comfort in any task starting from picking suitable online writing services and to finding the best food in the neighborhood.
Okay, but what if nothing works?
Sometimes, you just don’t match. Your frequent conflicts become rough. Then, you may apply for the reassignment of a roommate. It is not granted, as there might not be a vacant room for you to separate. Still, you may get another roommate whom you will get along with better.
Actually, it is not worth trying to force friendship, especially when the counterpart is not interested. However, you can be friendly and share a positive attitude and comfortable atmosphere all the time in college.
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